We’ve all played this game, don’t lie. You’re in a workout class, strolling through Target, or mindlessly scrolling through Instagram and you think “Ugh, she’s so much more *insert whatever you’re jealous of here* than me! You know that you should stop playing this little comparison game, but how do we do that?! Well, girlfriend, today I am going to tell you.
Stopping The Comparison Game
#1. Identify & Assess Your Thoughts
The first step in getting rid of comparisonitis is to actually realize you’re doing it. And don’t do this is a mean way, don’t judge yourself for having these thoughts, that won’t get you anywhere. Instead, assess the thought. Kinda like a scientist, just observe it. Is this a thought that is going to serve you? Is it a thought you WANT to have? If it’s one on comparison my guess is not.
Then, once you’ve assessed the thought, decided it’s not serving you and not one you wish to dwell on, let it go. Literally picture it like a butterfly and see it float right out of your head.
#2. Replace Your Thoughts
So, now that the pesky comparison thought has floated away replace it with something positive. This step is KEY because you need to re-wire your brain to think more positive thoughts in place of those comparison thoughts. If you skip this step it’s basically the same as making cookie dough but not putting it in the oven to bake. Great! You took the first step, but you’ll never get those cookies if you don’t bake them. Unless you’ve made it just to eat the dough.. which… I’d be lying if I said I’ve never done that before….Don’t judge.
Some ways that you can replace those thoughts to stop the comparison game are:
- Give the person a compliment, instead of being jealous try bring supportive
- Remind yourself that you may see someone a certain way, but we can never see the full picture of someone’s life
- Give yourself a pep talk, list 3-5 things that you love about yourself when feeling down (it can help to have a list written beforehand!)
- Take a look at my list of intuitive eating affirmations for more inspo!
It’s KEY to keep doing this step over and over and over. Eventually, as your brain learns “ooooh, she wants me to think THESE things, not those comparison thoughts” it will start to think these more positive thoughts automatically.
#3. Journal About Recurring Themes
Keep tabs on the sort of comparison game you keep playing. Maybe it’s around confidence, weight (if this is you check out this post on 3 steps to improving body image), hair, career success, etc. Then, journal about this topic. Why do you put so much weight in this characteristic? Dig deep for this one. Are you mistakenly tying this thing (weight, confidence, etc) to happiness? Having it “all”? etc. Is that true? Or is that a connection you’ve been taught to previous. Really dissect this and get to the bottom of it.
#4. Add Gratitude
If you’ve done all of these things and you’re STILL struggling I highly recommend adding gratitude to your daily life. A lot of times when working with clients in my 1:1 coaching program we add in at least 1 gratitude exercise. Once of my favorites is writing a bullet journal entry each morning of 3-5 characteristics about yourself that you’re grateful for, that make you YOU! Buy yourself a super cute journal (I love this adorbs pink leather journal!) and dedicate it to positive, happy vibes only!
#5. Detox What You Need To
I always feel silly saying the word “detox”, being an anti-diet dietitian and all, but whatever. For this, I want you to get rid of whatever comparisons are super tough for you to overcome. That means going through your social media and unfollowing or muting anyone who makes you feel inferior, distancing yourself from toxic friendships, auditing your television or magazine intake, etc. Don’t set yourself up for comparison by keeping anything that triggers you!
Those 5 steps should get you well on your way to being DONE with the comparison game! If you’re looking for more real life confidence boosting, body positive tips be sure to snag a copy of my free e-book, The Ultimate 5 Step Guide To Food Freedom.
Be sure to leave a comment with your thoughts on this post! Let me know which step was the most helpful and even leave a few more ideas of how YOU will replace those thoughts to stop the comparison game!
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